"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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