Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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