ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
