You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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