I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
