Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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