words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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