I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
