I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
