Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize