what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
