No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
