Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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