My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
