my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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