if only i could text you this smell
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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