College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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