we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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