On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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