You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
