My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Panties = found
Randomize
