Buhtt sex?
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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