There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize