Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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