That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
