Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Randomize
