dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
This is my gift to your gina
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
