After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
