I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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