I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Reggie can tackle my bush.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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