i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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