I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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