There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
