Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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