you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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