Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
17 year olds will be the death of me.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
