yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
