Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
