just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
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