i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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