Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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