2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
