you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
They have beer where we have blood.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
