it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Randomize