so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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