Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
