better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
