My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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