I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
