Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
