the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
