just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
