Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Farmville is her only friend.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
