Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
