nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
