I'm pants shitting drunk right now
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize