batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?Â
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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