the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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